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08:28pm 28/01/2004
  "Will not the Government itself now decide what is and is not crime and pump out the life and guts and will of whoever sees fit to displease the Government?"

"Some of us have to fight. There are great traditions of liberty to defend. I am no partisan man. Where I see the infamy I seek to erase it. Party names mean nothing. The tradition of liberty means all. The common people will let it go, oh yes. They will sell liberty for a quieter life. That is why they must be prodded..."
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Woo hoo!   
09:02pm 11/01/2004
  Boondock Saints WILL BE HAVING A SEQUEL IN 2004!


Finally, some good news to write home about! After bad things happen there always seems to be a streak of good things, so I hope this marks the beginning of that. Cuz if it doesn't, I will be mad!!!
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fuck the world   
03:02am 11/01/2004
  I am starting to get really upset at the world again, only it's a lot worse than it was. All I am thankful for right now are my good friends and anger. Anger replaces depression, which is a good thing, since depression really sucks. Gotta cope with this shit called life somehow though. Right now I just want to get into a fight or put my fists through something.

I have been excercizing a lot more lately and I am feeling a bit better than I was and I can feel my strength getting back to what it use to be. Cars are both a blessing and a curse. Maybe that's why so much of the United States is overweight, people just don't walk as much or something. I've been considering getting back into rock climbing again too, I always had fun with that.

I am single yet again. How disappointing. I saw it coming for the past coupla days though, and the relationship wasn't going to last more than a month (she wanted it that way), so it is probably better this way. I should really be more careful about jumping into things. It was worth just having someone to hold and be close with, but I really like long term relationships. She is a great girl too, straight forward and beautiful. I'm gonna miss being with her and all I can do is wish the best for her.

I don't know why typing what happens in my life makes me feel any better, but it just does for some reason. Certain things always have to be left out because of how personal they are, but I am able to put something down here. I haven't felt the need to type anything in awhile, but I am really kinda numb right now. I don't like that feeling. I can just start feeling everything start to not have as much affect on me emotionally. I want to cry so badly but I can't. I feel the need to, but I am unable to do it. It is really frustrating, I would feel a lot better if I could.
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I saw a shooting star today   
10:30pm 14/12/2003
  Well, I feel like updating my journal today. I don't really know why, or what the point is of having one, but what the hell. You gotta wonder what the point of life is too, but it just happens as well. Pretty much just did some extra work today and hung out with some friends and stuff. It's always pretty fun meeting up with friends, I usually have a good time.

Last night was a ton of fun too. I hung out with a buncha friends and we all ate pizza and drank (soda) in the park and listened to the ghetto blaster. We hung out at John's house before and after also and watched a compilation of recordings I made of Adult Swim cartoons from Cartoon Network.

By the way, old Guttermouth is the shit. I'm gonna wear this record all the way down if I keep listening to it. I guess that means I should probably buy the cd version soon.....

Oh, on the way home I saw a shooting star, it's been hella long since I've seen one. Gonna call it a night now and go to sleep, got work too early in the morning again.
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A good past coupla days!   
08:41pm 12/12/2003
  Stuff has been going pretty well lately. On Wednesday I got my switchblade, I got to see a good movie, and I just took the dive and bought a cell phone. Sure, it's 50 big ones every month, but I'll get to spend more time with my friends and stuff. I will actually be able to get a hold of them now without spending 5 bux on a pay phone or going all the way home. I have free long distance too, so I can keep on trying to get a hold of some of my old friends too!

It may seem pretty wierd to a lotta people about how happy I am about getting my switchblade, but it is something that I have wanted since ealry elementary school, and now I am 20 and I finally got it. It's like a dream come true!

I've been hanging out with Spike, Megan, and Allie a lot lately. I have been seeing Megan's dad around more too and he's a pretty cool guy (for awhile I was wondering if he was ever home, I never saw him there the first few times I was at her place). I really like hangin' out with my friends, even if there is nothing to do.

Yeasterday me, Allie, Lil' Melissa and Debo saw the movie Haunted Mansion. It was really good and wasn't all hokey like the advertisements made it look.

I've had a few crappy moments this week, but it's been pretty great for the most part. I was late to work for the first time at my new job (which irritates the hell outta me) because my alarm didn't go off in the morning. I've had a coupla sad moments during the week just because of the whole being single thing and all. I know probably just about everyone goes through it, I just never thought it would be as rough as it is sometimes. I really don't know what else to say, certain things are pretty personal and I don't really want to post them out in public, so I'm just gonna leave it at this.
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11:13pm 07/12/2003
  Well, the most exciting things that happened today are that I got to see people I wanted to see and I finally hooked up the old record player again. I finally get to blare Spazm 151 again! Power Songs For The Kids, yo! I just love the hell outta that 7", it's the best thing since life on earth. By the way, if ya wanna get some free mp3's, you can find quite a few at havocrex.com, including a Spazm 151 track!

Anyway, I'm still pretty enthusiastic about the whole being-able-to-play-records-again thing. I have a decent record collection that hasn't had the proper attention given to it for a long time. Too much stuff that hasn't been released on CD yet :(

Well, I'll stop with the whole record thing. I ended up going to Megans today and meeting up with Allie, Megan, and Spike. Little Melissa came by too while I was walking Allie to see her mom. We pretty much had a night of going one place and finding out that it wasn't what we should have done. We all ended up going to Trader Joes and getting stuff to eat there.

After we got back to the house I kinda ate too much junk and wasn't really hungry anymore. We were all just hanging out at the house and stuff, which always gets boring pretty fast, but there isn't a whole lot to do. It's like that everywhere I go though, and I would much rather be bored with friends than be bored alone.

I took lil Melissa and Allie home around 20 till 9 and then went home. Now here I am, typing away instead of sleeping. I will enjoy sleep though, but I have to wake up hella early for work. At least I get paid on Wednesday, it's a bit of a break in the middle of the week.

I really need to get a hold of my friend Doug, it's pretty cool talking with him and stuff. He always states his opinions and always has something to say. I hope him and his mom move to Elk Grove, it would hella kick ass.
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An update for yesterday cuz' Im lazy   
11:04am 07/12/2003
  Yesterday started out being pretty boring, I was pretty much just sitting around playing Tony Hawk 3 and listening to music until I think about 4:00. It pretty much sucked because I am starting to get kinda bored with games every time I play em and of course just listening to music and not doing anything else can get boring too.

I ended up going to Megans house and hanging out with her and Spike, and Allie came over a little later. We went to tthe mall to see a movie and stuff, but the movie that we were going to see wasn't playing at that theater. We were pretty much standing around fo awhile and then decided to go to Chuck E Cheese and play some ski-ball and stuff. Spikle ended up calling Paul and Barbie, so I picked them up too on the way to 'Chucks. When we got there Paul n Barbie went somewhere else so it was just 4 of us again, and we all played some games for awhile. Afterwards we all met up again and went back to Megans where we took off again in Megans car to take Spike to a bar to meet one of his friends.

We just waited in the car for awhile and Paul & Barbie took off again to drink and stuff. The wait seemed pretty long but I'm not sure how long it was exactly. After that everyone met up yet again and went back to Megans house.

We were just hanging out on the corner near Megans while Spike, Paul, and I think Barbie were drinking. Allie was feeling really under the weather today and had some family problems and stuff. I really wish there was something I could do for her, she is a nice girl. Next everyone went to Blockbuster to get rent Pulp Fiction, which ended up being pretty hard to find. The wrong video case was in front of the Pulp Fiction movie and there was no case for Pulp Fiction, which made it kinda hard to find.

We went back to the ol' corner and stood there for awhile. Allie and Megan went back to the apartment and I listenede to Spike and Paul's conversation about times long gone and music, occasionally throwing in my 2 cents in the music part. After all that I took Paul and Barbie to Paul's house and listened to Special Duties on the way there. It has been awhile since I have listened to that CD and I'm glad I threw it in.

I went back to Megans house again to watch Pulp Fiction with Spike, Megan, and Allie. Allie seemed to be doing a lot better, which is great, and Megan was in the process of making a cake. We all watched Pulp Fiction in the living room, where I ended up falling asleep. Megan woke me up when the movie was over and by then it was already 5 in the morning. Came home, went to sleep, end of story!
Feelin good....   
12:57am 06/12/2003
  Well, I kinda missed a day of sharing my life with everyone, but nuthin really exciting happened for awhile anyway until today. I went to see some bands play today in Auburn, which is kinda far, but i don't regret making the trip at all. Also the foreman at the job site I'm at right now was telling me that I was a good worker and I worked hard and all that stuff, which just made my day better. Sometimes compliments just give me that boost of morale that I need.

After work I drove home and called Allie to see if she wanted to hang out, but she was going with Spike & Megan to Oakland to see Oppressed Logic (for those who don't know, they are a DAMN good band! Hope you all had a kick-ass time!). There was no way in hell I was going to drive out to Oakland and they were already rollin' a full vehichle, so I decided to call up Chris to see what was goin' down with him.

Chris said that him Barbie, and TC were going to a show and that they were going to be leaving soon, but I offered to take em so I just swung by and picked em up. I thought the show was going to pretty much suck (I heard it was goin to, I didn't know what bands were plaiyng), but kickin' it with friends is always fun.

To my suprise, the show ended up being really good. Amityville Horror, Anti-You, and the first band that played were all good. I saw some new faces and met some new people, and after the show I found a $5 bill on the ground, and it was obvious that whoever dropped it wasn't around anymore. The dancing was good and everything. The only band I didn't stay to see were the Roustabouts, which I don't really care for too much. The only thing that kinda sucked is that no one that I drove to the show actually came in, so I was just kinda wandering for a bit.
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Sometimes you can really relate to a song...   
08:39pm 03/12/2003
  I've been practically just listening to music and hangin'out with friends all the time now (well, that and going to work, sleeping, etc.). I really like my music, I've been listening to Blood for Blood more than anything else lately. I just feel like things are pretty hopeless sometimes and the lyrics in some of their songs describe how I feel.

I just went through a break-up that I really wasn't happy about(to say the least) about a month or so ago and I just feel so alone. I just have this emptiness that won't go away and I get to be really lonely when I'm not with my friends, who I would like to thank if they happen to be reading this. One thing I have learned is that friends will be there even when it seems like you have lost everything. I have some friends that don't exactly get along and I wish they did, but hey, the world is far from being a perfect place.

Anyway, today I just woke up at an ungodly hour of the morning to go to work, another typical weekday I guess. After work I went down to the office of the electric company I work for to get my paycheck and then deposited at the closest bank I knew of. There was a pay phone across the street from the bank, but it was a pretty busy time of the day and I didn't feel like running across the street. More than likely the phone would not be working or some asshole would fuck it up so that you can't dial the number you want to or something. I ended up just going to Target and using the payphones there, where I got a hold of my buddies Spike and Megan. On my way out the door I dropped a coupla quarters in the salvation army donation bucket. After all, it is the day I got paid and I can afford to contribute something, even though it wasn't a whole lot. I hung out with Spike and megan for a coupla hours just talking and watching the t.v. for a bit. After that I pretty much just came home, and here I am.
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another day   
05:22pm 02/12/2003
  Just another day gone by with nothing really new. I kept on thinking about making a journal and I finally decided to. Gotta keep busy somehow, and movies n' videogames aren't cutting it right now. I love listening to music and like punk a lot, it's practically all I listen to. Gotta throw in that Blood for Blood and Decepticons (both are hardcore bands) on occasion.

I've been at my new job for a month now and it is going along pretty good, I learn something new just about every day. I am an apprentice electrician and want to build my own house whenever I can afford to. I've been considering, actually convinced, that I want to take more college classes also and becoming an electrical engineer after I become a journeyman electrician.

For awhile I didn't want to go to college anymore, I was really burned out on the whole school thing and was really not sure what I wanted to do, which made it difficult to choose a major in college and all.

Well, that's it for today. I'll type more later, whenever that may be...
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